"EL LAY" Lesson: Crohn's Disease in the Workplace

One of the most frustrating and hazardous aspects of employment is the staff restroom. Don't you just hate it, that when you unavoidably have to "go." There is already someone there having a "stress shit." This person apparently doesn't care about you because he is blowing it up all over the place with his menacing fumes. That makes me want to get a gas mask for everytime I go in there. You can either tough it out and handle your business or you can just walk away. I know of one work location restroom that all employees need to avoid at 3:00 P.M This individual is always there at that time like clockwork. You can set your watch to it. This individual has definite work related stress issues. He sure takes all of it out on the poor, helpless latrine.







It is so bad that no one dares to trek there at 3:00 P.M. It's just terrible. Of course, nobody is willing to "cop" to all this "blow-torch" activity. One other employee pointed out that it has a high probability to be Crohn's Disease. This is when a person has an "internal swelling process" that produces excess water and salt during times of stress. When this happens, the body tries to expel the extra fluid and the person experiences diarrhea. This person obviously needs another job, because his current one is causing discomfort (not only to himself but) to others with his/her disorder.










People do not typically understand or want to care about someone with Crohn's Disease. Most people believe that mental instability is the inherent cause of this madly excessive bowel movement and gas withdrawal. These sudden and predictable urges to use the restroom is an unequivocal mental distress. Hell, if the job is causing you all these issues, just quit. Everyone will be appeased and will not miss the obnoxious fumes. There would be no more instances of "stress shitting" and no more profuse spraying of air fresheners.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down.

-OGDUDE13

"El Lay" Lesson: Grocery Shopping

Don't you ever notice how different stores cater to different clientele? The "Food4Less" and "Vallarta" type stores always seem to attract a rough looking crowd. You have to leave them alone because you don't know how they are going to react when they can't find what they want. When you go to a "Von's" or a "Ralph's" type store, you can bet that they will ask where they can find an item, without getting upset. They are definitely, a softer crowd, for sure.


















I don't know what it is, but the higher the price, the better the crowd. The low price stores always seem to get the trailer-park crowd. I wonder why? Always remember that here in El Lay that you have to dress and shop accordingly. If you don't look the part of a certain type of store, you can bet that you will get grief from the staff and customers, so stick to the low end stores (Dollar Tree, 99cents, etc.). This way you don't have to dress to impress.


OGDUDE13 is calling you out!
Until the next article, Stay Down, Homies!

El Lay Lesson: Halloween Nights

From a baby to a senior citizen, Halloween gives most individuals the time to dress up or dress down to anything they want to be. You can bet the pink slip of your vehicle that most of the women will dress like hoochie’s. This time of the year gives them the chance to be what they really want to be, a hoochie mamma. Of course these women will not tell you that, but we know better. If you really want to be seen or observe a freakfest, go to Hollywood on Halloween night. You will see the weirdest skimpiest outfits ever. Halloween also gives the folks a chance to party down. In the month of October, you can be assured that someone is having a costume party. A good thing this is that you will be able to dance and drink all night without anyone actually noticing this.























The funny part is not the behavior but the costumes in attendance. Adults wear costumes to enjoy the festivities and the kids wear costumes to get their candy or toy treats. Either way, Halloween is fun for all types of people of all ages. There is nothing safe or sacred at Halloween. Even the OG Dude mask was worn last year. This year it’s sure to be on the top ten list at Party City and Halloween store super center. Sarah Palin, John McCain, George W. Bush, and Barrack Obama will even have masks of their own this year. Halloween also signifies the start of the holiday season, you know what comes after Halloween. Need I say more?
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Opinions and Observations by: OG DUDE

LA Lesson 3.0: Scary Halloween Tricks and Treats

On Halloween night the ghouls and goblins start their trick or treat trek early. But for those households that refuse to accommodate the costume wearing characters, beware, there is a new prank that tricksters will be using this Devil’s Night. The Halloweens of past the pranksters would bombard those tight wad homes that refuse to provide treats, with the mandatory rotten egg and/or dog shit. Now, what these hooligans are going to do is throw pancake syrup projectiles on these unsuspecting folks.

















This will definitely create havoc because the next morning your front porch will be infested with red fire ants or a very sticky floor. Either way the time and effort you put in to performing this clean-up is just not worth the hassle. It would be much cheaper to you if you provided these warlocks and witches with ten dollars worth of candy. The neighborhood kids would appreciate this just as much as the person who does not have to deal with the pancake syrup mess, remember, trick or treating is for the kids not the adults. If you come upon the guy who is wearing that penis and testicles costume and you get squirted, more likely then not, you should avoid giving that guy a treat. He is probably your neighbor.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

LA Lesson: Dodgers Suck!

The weather is still fair in DodgerTown and I still fully expect to get my six pack of Hoagies from the PsychoGiantFan. As expected I already took that no good bartender and his sidekick off the payroll. Here in “El Lay” your only allowed one mistake. The fact that these two idiots of the Sunset Strip made the prediction of the Dodgers not going to the playoffs makes their judgment questionable. If I lose my wager of In and Out burgers to that damn Giants fan you can bet I will be billing those two hooligans for my loss. Folks here are already writing the Dodgers off! They have already tossed their little Dodger caps and flags in disgust. You can’t get any more fair weather then this. On the other hand I am sure looking forward to some good hoagie sandwiches. So for my stomachs sake, Dodgers you have got to win. The Board of Directors at OGDUDE13 HQ cannot tolerate another losing team! USC Trojans, Kings, Galaxy, and now possibly the Dodgers! Not to mention we don’t even have a football team to complain about. I still can’t believe that the Dodgers lose one game and it’s like Armageddon has arrived in this city. But you can be just as sure that the minute the Blue Crew pulls out a win flags will be flying mighty high again.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

LA lesson: Star Gazing in the Starry Skies

Yes, it’s true. The infamous OG DUDE has returned to drop insights and observations on you like so many demands and dreams from your sad, broken family have gone unfulfilled and forgotten. He is back to his old ways of starting beefs, killing the drama, and giving you: the gangster, the emo, the winner, the loser, the rocker, the roller, the worker and the rich little bitch a chance to try something new or check something out. Sure he’s a low down OG with too much machismo but who the Hell are you? Sit back, crack a cold one, spark up that long one, and relax to the words and advice of the original OG DUDE.


















It’s been awhile since I have submitted an article for the guys and gals at blogspot. I’ve been far too busy doing extra gigs and traveling throughout the City of Angels, just enjoying the beautiful sites and the cities many treasures. One of the better treasures in this bustling city is the Griffith Park Observatory. It has recently re-opened after being shut down for a three year renovation. Now it’s open again and free to the public. You can take in many exhibits inside the Venue including the laser light show for a very minimal fee. Inside that rocking laser experiment you will catch a glimpse of the Universe while rocking out to catchy tunes and some great music. This is a definite must see when in Los Angeles. During the visit you will be able to view the entire West section of the city with absolutely no interference. And at night you can watch the planes circle the city as they await permission to land at LAX.

Going to the Griffith Park Observatory is like an oasis in the desert. It is a quick and enjoyable escape from the hustle and bustle of the fast city life. Don’t forget to view the Moon from the roof top telescope. You can actually see the footprints from the Apollo Astronauts.

Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”

Reported By: OG DUDE

L.A. Lesson: World-Famous L.A. Traffic

The City of L.A. has a massive freeway system that is well over five thousand miles in length. You have Vietnam vet’s, gangsters, policemen, firemen, and Mixed Martial Artists that will tell you the freeway system here is the scariest thing they have ever experienced. Unlike those simpleton’s from the east coast, we refer to our highways as freeway’s not “expressways”. The people that use the freeways are dangerous. “Road Rage” as they call it occurs thousands of times daily, and the drivers may even use their vehicles as a weapon. You should never cut off anyone here while driving. If you do, you might and will encounter a response from the person you don’t want. Something you shouldn’t really even care about is signaling for lane changes. No one will let you cut in so whats the point?



















Just brace yourself and enter the lane at your own risk. You will always be dealing the person that drives too slow, or the one that is tailing you and driving way too fast, or if you are driving around Hollywood be prepared for the ones that well past the legal limit. Another hazard is “Rush Hour”. Why they call it “Rush Hour” has always escaped me. During “Rush Hour” the cars are moving at the rate of a fast pace walk. If you are using the freeways between 7am-10am or 3pm-7pm you can be assured that the freeway system will be a parking lot. Nobody is moving, drivers are honking, babies are crying, you’ll be sitting there expecting to see Michael Douglas run past you screaming about how he’s going home. After you are done working a long 8+ hour day you have to hit the freeways again and do it all over again. Frightening, isn’t it?

Until the next lesson, “Stay Down”
Reported By: OG DUDE

Los Angeles Lesson: Take It to the Pros!

In a city as vast as Los Angeles you are sure to get tire damage from one of the city’s many potholes. Even as the city continues to repair and fill potholes, including it’s 1 millionth repaired pothole milestone on November 1st, there are still more then 3 million to go. I happened to encounter a pothole just the other day. My front left tire got banged up and so began a steady so leak. I ended up with a flat tire and obviously had to replace it quickly. Fortunately for me a tire shop was nearby. Anthony’s Tire Center in Sun Valley, CA (San Fernando Valley) readily assisted me and even provided road side assistance. They quickly removed my flat tire and had it replaced with a brand new one. What was remarkable about this whole experience was the great price and excellent service these guys provided. You see, Anthony and one his employees, Vince, just happen to be big mixed martial arts fans. They were all excited at the prospect of helping out the OG DUDE with his tire woes . They also managed to help the OG DUDE out with a nice big discount on tire care and service. They mentioned that they can beat any prices and that their service is unbeatable. Remember to let them know your a big mma fan! They specialize in new and used tires, speed balancing, tire accessories, and roadside service. They gave me a tour of their tire shop and believe me, their selection was impressive. They also specialize in rims and tires from size 20 to size 30. Their prices are very good for the quality products they offer.























Remember, if you’re in the Los Angeles area and need new rims or tires for your vehicle go see Anthony or Vince at Anthony’s Tire Center, located 9308 Glenoaks Blvd. Sun Valley, Ca 91352. They can also be reached at (818) 504-4816. Don’t forget to tell them the OG DUDE sent you.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Written By: OG DUDE

El Lay Lesson: Snow Piping

It’s already snowing in parts of sunny Southern California and some of the local snowboarders are prepping for doing some white lines. The white lines I’m referring to are the ones cut up across the mountain tops. Snowboarders will be out this weekend doing their jumps and somersaults all while landing on soft, sleek snow. Hell, even the OG DUDE is excited at the prospect of getting out of this heat and into the cool, crisp fresh mountain air. I won’t be boarding, but I will be at the lodge indulging in some major mixed drink action. Those half-pipes will be absolutely interesting change to smoking pipes. You can get away from all that hustle and bustle of a gang infested city and actually enjoy a worry free environment when you’re up on those snowy mountain sides. The only miscreants you might find up there on the top of those mountains is yours truly, the OG DUDE, and his band of outlaws. Oh and don’t worry these guys are only up here for recreation, not for ideation. Don’t be surprised if the OG DUDE puts out the town with his patented parties, be it snow, rain or shine, these parties are a sight to behold.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

L.A. Lesson: Danger! In the Mosh Pit

The OG DUDE has observed and witnessed several concerts and the types of individuals who frequent them. What has caught my fancy is the behavior that occurs in the pit. When there is moshing going on some guys get hit and get knocked down. In a civilized pit this is okay because somebody will pick them up off the floor. When you see this happen it usually will be okay for the venue. The case being that a minimum of problems will occur. However, if some idiot gets knocked on his ass and nobody picks him up, a fight is guaranteed to happen within minutes.





















I have to admit that white boys can’t dance, but they sure can mosh! You ever see Mexicans or Blacks in a civilized mosh pit? It will never happen because once they get their asses knocked down they want to fight and fight is what they do. My thing is this, if you can’t handle the pit, keep your ass out of it. Do not be a bitch and complain about somebody smacking you down. Get off the damn floor and stay on the sidelines where you belong. Better yet, don’t even bother showing up to the concert and save yourself the price of admission.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

Los Angeles Lesson: Totally Tubular Dude!

Beaches, not bitches, have always had their share of surfers. These surfers are always out there in the sand and the waves everyday in order to catch that one tubular ride. They are in search of that one rad wave they can tell their grandkids about. But be careful, if you are not from that particular strand of beach. These surfers are very territorial and do not want an outsider coming onto their turf. If you try to get some waves, be prepared to defend yourself. Like anything and anywhere else, you just do not come to somebody elses house and make yourself at home.













You have to prove yourself and not show up any of the respected players. This will really piss somebody off and you will have to lace up your clogs and get off the beach. The local surfers will not allow anybody to take a wave they feel is rightfully theirs. If you do catch a wave you better grab onto that J7 and ride the tubular for as long as you can. Isn’t this what you wanted in the first place?
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

"Los Angeles" Lesson: Skateboard City

Anywhere in “El Lay” you will see a groups boys skateboarding on any surface, at any time, anywhere. The places I see these guys in are odd to say the least. They try to skate on rails, roofs, yes roofs, tops of trucks, perimeter walls and of course sidewalks and streets. They are oblivious to on coming traffic, and they actually seem to think that you should get out of their way because they are coming in your direction. They do all these flips and jumps without any headgear or joint pads.















To them protection is for the weak and the less protection you have the more it shows your “ride” experience. Other then the damage skating causes to property, this activity is a lot better than these kids getting involved in illegal activities such as gangbanging, drug dealing or prostitution. These skateboarders look out for each other and actually have a fun time doing it. This is why the city of Los Angeles Parks and Recreation Department has built so many skateparks throughout the city. These skateparks have many ramps, bridges, and other obstacles that these boarders can enjoy. The good part, it is all done with adult staff supervision. Wow, what a concept.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson: Top Ten List of Number 1's

This is a big city and in a big city comes many things. The OG DUDE has compiled a list for your learning experience. Here’s the Top Ten things Los Angeles ranks number one in for the entire nation. Facts, figures and statistics entirely from the OG DUDE. Los Angeles is Number One for:
Members affiliated in street gangs- Over 420,000.
Bank Robberies
Methamphetamine Users
Police Car Chases
Entertainment Industry
Spoken Languages
Ethnic Diversity
Property Foreclosures
Best Tasting Tap Water
Fair Weather Sports Fans


















Even with all these “Firsts” there is no other place I would rather spend an entire lifetime. There is so much this city has to offer. There is never a dull moment and Los Angeles is what you make it. Every possible diversion and activity is available and can be found right here. Why would anybody want to be anywhere else? That’s why you have all these transients coming from all over the nation and the world to settle here. You have folks from Cincinnati, Omaha, Lompoc, and God forbid, Philadelphia and New York. But that’s okay, these folks know “El Lay” is the place to be. If they didn’t know this, they wouldn’t be here. It’s that simple.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson: Smoke Control

When it comes to smoking, it doesn’t matter if it’s herbal or tobacco, Los Angeles has one of the most restrictive “No Smoking” ordinances in the county. For those of you who smoke two packs a day it is now prohibited to smoke in city parks and in the near future, in apartment buildings. You can no longer smoke inside public buildings and if you have to have a nicotine fix, you will have to do it 25 feet away from the building. Smoking inside at jails has also been banned. Can you imagine being in the joint and having to go without any nicotine? This has become a major crisis for the inmates. They now have nothing to do but eat, shit and sleep. Poor things. Another crisis will be the city parks only being used for healthy outdoor recreational activity and wholesome socializing.















Now that both alcohol and smoking products are banned only the good people will frequent these parks and areas. All those drunks and cancer candidates will have to do those activities in their private time, far away from the public. No big loss. They can still go to bars, clubs, and parties, to get drunk and smoke cigs. They can still go outside their homes or to parking lots to smoke their herb of choice. Smoking inside is no longer seen as “the cool thing” to do. Tobacco smoke has no medical benefit whatsoever and the number of smokers is getting smaller every day, month, and year. Look around you, there are “No Smoking” signs all over the place…..
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Written by: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson: Going to a Concert

If you ever attend a concert anywhere in the L.A. area, you can be assured that the folks in attendance will behave out of the norm. You will see people get loud, drunk, emotional, hyperactive and at times out of control. People will be yelling stupid things like, “That’s my song!” or “That’s my favorite band!” Immediately after yelling out these comments over and over again, these concert goers will jump up and down until they spill their drink. Then they will attempt to get on stage as if they know the performers. The worst part of this is when their attempt to get on stage is thwarted; These idiots actually become highly upset and agitated. They lose all reasoning and eventually get evicted from the venue. “What a bunch of morons.” Not only do they lose an opportunity to see their “favorite band” but also lose their cost of the concert ticket. They should of just chilled out and enjoyed the event. The worst behaved of the concert going crowd are the ones who show up for the Hip-Hop and Punk concerts. In the Hip-Hop concerts, you will get “wannabe” gang bangers filling the venue. All these idiots do is come and get drunk and “mad dog” each other. They don’t come to enjoy the scheduled performers nor do they come to socialize with the opposite sex. What they do come for is to start a rumble just to prove to their buddies that they are some sort of bad ass.









In reality, they’re a bunch of dumb asses. In the Punk Rock concerts, you get a more active crowd. This crowd is not into fighting but rather crowd surfing and moshing in the pit. They do not buy from the bar, but are always requesting a free cup of water without even leaving a tip for the bartender. These concert goers just come to slam on each other and buy black t-shirts from any band selling black t-shirts. During the bands performance they are constantly trying to jump the barricades throughout the entire show time. They do not stop until they are evicted from the pit area and or the venue itself. The Punk crowd is definitely over caffeinated.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Opinions and Observations by: OG DUDE

"El Lay Lesson" Observations on Death Metal

What follows is not so much the opinion of a gangsta as much as it is the opinion of one man. That man goes by the title, OG DUDE. Feel free to leave comments and concerns at the end of the article if you are compelled to do so. Blogspot will admit that this article is hilarious.














Do you ever notice how idiotic death metal music people look. It seems that they have to dress in black and have the mandatory long hair. The music they listen to is incomprehensible. You can’t understand the damn lyrics. The singer appears to jab the microphone down his throat all while yelling and mumbling throughout the entire song. He can be singing about your mother giving him fellatio and you wouldn’t even know it. They just stand in the pit, put their hands in their pockets and twirl their long hair round and round until the song is over, then the band will play another song that makes no sense and they will start to twirl their hair again. These morons also have a bad habit of moving their heads back and forth and up and down as if mimicking….well…The OG DUDE doesn’t need to spell it out. Another odd thing about this music genre is the various names of these bands. They have names like: Cannibal Corpse, Carnifex, Obituary, Opeth, Aborted, Cattle Decapitation, and others too nauseating to mention. The pretense that these bands are Satan worshipers makes this even stranger. The bands revel in this image and these fools actually have their fans believing it’s true. One thing is for sure, I will not buy any compact discs from these guys.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Written by: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Report: The Fountain of Youth Discovered

In 1513, the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce De Leon set sail to present-day Florida in search of the fabled Fountain of Youth. It was believed the legendary, curative spring water from the fountain reputably restored the youth of anyone who drank of its source. It promised rejuvenation, eternal youth, wealth, and prosperity. Regretfully, Ponce De Leon never encountered the Fountain of Youth. Instead, in his attempt he did discover Florida, now the site of Disneyworld- the Magic Kingdom at it’s best.

Even to this day, the age old quest to regain youth and vigor remains an unquenced thrist. Today, people continue to seek a quick fix, placebo resolution. They buy products ranging from caffeine-loaded energy drinks, to power boosting, supplemental tablets, hoping with unrealistic expectations and to only end is despair, disillusionment, stress, and addiction - a vicious, downward, spiraling whirlpool cycle. Nonetheless, the million dollar, uncorked, bottled-up question prevails. Does the ultimate answer lie in a sparkling, luring never-found fountain?

There is a recent and convincing research indicating there is an answer. Several studies have shown that active, inquisitive minds can reduce e some of the negative side effects of aging, even delay the onset of dementia! In addition, a mind proficient in more than one language is further empowerment to staying young. In a new yet archaic alternative, there exist an interactive, delightfully stimulating process which not only re-energizes the elderly, but just as importantly bridges the generation gap between young and old. This dynamic, engaging exchange is facilitated via “dichos”, which can now be easily and readily accessed in a family-fun, interaction board game named “Dicho Al Hecho” ©.

















The “dichos” are proverbs and sayings in Spanish. Their communicative intent is to instruct, nurture, and teach, valuable lessons. These lessons are based and founded on wisdom and life experiences stemming from past generations. Because “dichos” have been in existence for centuries, they serve as landmarks for clarity, guidance, and learning.

The “Dicho Al Hecho”© board game allows for time and attention directed t words the “dichos”. The participants in the game are able to reflect, gain insight, and build on indispensable knowledge base as they actively maneuver their way through the game board. There is enjoyment and long-lasting rewards within the 20-30 minute period of time outlining the “Dicho Al Hecho”© game. It truly amounts to a win-win experience for everyone, making it a desirable pastime entertainment and educational tool to be played again and again.

In all, this fusion and bonding between the new, old, and past generations is pivotal. The “dichos”serve as a fertile common ground and restorative panacea, rich with tradition and valuable life lessons. They are the ideal ingredient cultivating longevity and fueling the necessary vitality to move forward, prosper, and advance to a higher continuum- a true Fountain of Youth. After all, isn’t youth and happiness a state of mind?




Hasta la Proxima! (Til Next Time)

"El Lay" Lesson: The Hollywood Scene

Every time I drive through Hollywood, I can bet on women wearing very skimpy clothing no matter how cold it is. They wear very short skirts and very low tops, baring their mid riffs. Another thing you can’t help but notice is the smell of silicone. Women have this obsession that you never go to Hollywood unless you have silicone implants. They are always trying to outdo each other in order to get as much attention as possible. The ironic and strange part is that when they actually get the attention they want they seem to shun it. Hell, even the ugly women do this.




















Unless you are an actor or some kind of stupid rap mogul, these women would not even give you the time of day. Strange indeed. The men that frequent Hollywood dress like a bunch of effeminate clowns. They sport hairdos that only pet poodles should be using. They never formally wear nice clothing, but are clothed in uncoordinated attire that is only allowed in Hollywood. Sure they wear designer clothes, but they look like, “sweet peas.” In a sense, Hollywood perpetuates the myth, that the more masculine you look the less you will get. These sullen individuals of both genders don’t seem to care how they are perceived. They act like a bunch of obnoxious spoiled A-Holes that think they can misbehave with no repercussions. They go to bars and night clubs and get drunk. In that same process of getting inebriated they vomit and piss on themselves without an obvious care. When they get evicted from these establishments they become ecstatic and always state what they always do in Hollywood. “You can’t do anything to me! I’ll sue you!” You can’t get more Hollywood then that. What a scene.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson: An Effective Cocktail

During my times of rest, I like to unwind and drink a few and then drink a few more. It all depends on how I feel on that particular day. On most occasions I partake in Tecate beer with lemon and salt. Tecate beer must be in a can. It tastes better and the lemon and salt mix better than in a glass bottle. When my many friends come over to “bogart” my suds, they like the good stuff; Corona Beer. Of course, they never bring any beer with them but sure will drink mine. What are friends for?
On the days I am not drinking beer, I have a drink that will knock your sombrero off without you even knowing about it. This is a drink I just happened to mix one day and it sure had all the senoritas taking their clothes off after just one sip. I call it “The Brown Mexican.” It consists of the following secret ingredients:
2 Oz. Tequila (Patron Preferred)
2 Oz. Kahlua Coffee Liqueur
1 Oz. “La Lechera” Condensed Milk (can)
If you are on a budget you can use generic brand tequila and coffee liqueur but you cannot subsitute the “La Lechera” brand that is made by the Nestle Food Company. This is the main ingredient.


You mix all these ingredients together, feel free to use your own measurements for taste, and put them on ice in a six to eight ounce High Ball glass. Mmm, mmm, mmm, this drink is the bomb! You will have all the guys thanking you for this drink. They will be thanking you because “The Brown Mexican” is a quick creeper and has already put an effect on the ladies.
For your next party or get together invite “The Brown Mexican,” you will see results!
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author and Mixologist: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson: Ethnic Culinary Delights

A city as diverse as Los Angeles has many ethnicities and languages. With this being the case, Los Angeles is full of good ethnic eating establishments. When you spend the whole day working or visiting you obviously gain a good appetite. There is nothing like enjoying a good hearty meal with a beverage of your choice at a good price. I don’t know about you but a meal and a beverage always taste better when the price is right. Depending on the area you frequent, there are always good places to eat. If you want some good mexican food, you go to East Los Angeles. If you want some Chinese food you can go just about anywhere, but Chinatown does have the best. Armenian food, you go to Glendale or Little Armenia. Soul food, you go to South Central Los Angeles and for Salvadoran food you can go to Pacoima. Gringo food, you can get that at any fast food joint, such as McDonalds, Taco Bell or Denny’s. All those ethnic pockets of civilization throughout the city specialize in one form or another in their own specialties.
On the other spectrum you have both buffet restaurants, my favorites are: Shakey’s, Hometown Buffet, Acapulco, as well as any all you can eat diners. These places are always packed with folks of all different types and are too busy chowing down to see who else is around. You also have the “bird food” restaurants. These are establishments that give you snack food for a very high price. If you are hungry avoid these places. You pay the high price for the atmosphere, not the meal. If I am hungry I am going to eat some food, not the service.














At these places places you have to pay high prices for the valet, waiter, and the barbacks. To hell with that, I just want some food. As you can see, “El Lay” has different types of food and the establishments that serve them are all varied as well. It all depends on you, if you’re hungry, and whether you want a good meal or not. If you are hungry you hit the buffet. If you want a certain type of food, you go to the area that specializes in that type of food. If you want to spend some money on “bird food” you can go to one of those snooty overpriced restaurants.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Written and Reported by: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson: Drug Addiction

Drugs can have long lasting effects on your body and your mind. Using drugs on a day to day basis will compromise a persons judgement and affect their physical abilities. Drugs make a person unable to perform in a variety of ways, your capability to accomplish your everyday tasks will suffer in the following areas:

Employment
Decision Making
Operating a Vehicle
Social Affairs

Drug use also diminishes your physical appearance. It lowers your motivation and impairs your comprehension, leading to risky decisions and behavior. Drug use also directly reduces your sexual and intellectual performance in many areas. A person who uses drugs increases their chance of experiencing any, or all, of the following:

Legal Problems
Involvement in a traffic accident
Risky Sexual Behavior
Work Related Injuries
Addiction
Debt

Persons who use drugs usually do it to mask their problems. They have difficulty with managing their stress, have a hard time resolving conflicts, also often do not have any goals set for themselves. These individuals feel that drug usage will make their short comings wither away. Drugs negatively affect cohesiveness in a family setting and will cause the following effects on the moral of his or her family:

Lack of thought
Lack of Concentration
Lack of Commitment
Lack of Trust
Lack of Faith

If a person’s performance is weak because of drug use, that person will have to live knowing that he or she has disappointed their family. Given the serious risks of drug use, why would anyone even attempt to go through these after effects at all? All they have to do is see how it has affected their favorite athlete, movie star, rock star, and that should give any individual with half a brain enough of a reason not to use drugs.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down”
Author: OG Dude

"El Lay" Lesson: "Where you from?"

The most lamented and dreaded question that any Angeleno hates to hear, “Where are you from?” This is a question that has no definitive answer. It is an apparent “Catch-22″: Damned if you don’t answer and damned if you do. Too many Los Angeles area residents have lost their lives or have been seriously injured because they have failed to respond or responded with the wrong answer. This is why you have to be aware of your surroundings and be well versed as to what a proper response to this question can be. If you get “hit up” by a gang member it is only because he thinks you look like one or are one. This is why, as described in Lesson One, you should not be a poser. You will only be jeopardizing yourself. Why would any fool try to look hard and be a “Buster” when everybody knows that idiot could not hang with anyone, let alone gang-bangers. Once you get “hit up,” you better react quickly and tell them that you are from a city in another state. This answer will have them scratching their heads because gang members are stupid and do not know their geography. Their rationale is that if they never heard of that area, they will most likely leave you alone because they have no beef with that area. If you do not give them an answer, they will view that as disrespectful and they will attempt to injure you. You have to remember gang members only have their point of view and do not give a shit what you think. So think about that when traveling through Los Angeles.
Until the next Lesson, “Stay Down.”
Written and Reported by: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Lesson:Ways of Identifying the Theft of Identity

In the previous lesson, The Three D’s ( Deter, Detect, Defend) were discussed on what to do when identity theft occurs. This quick lesson will give you the 5 popular methods that thieves utilize to get your personal information in order to wreak havoc on your identity. The time and effort you have to put in to correct the theft of your identity is time consuming to say the least. Paying attention to these methods of theft will educate you on being more careful.
Skilled identity thieves use a variety of methods to steal your personal information. The OG Dude will provide you with the five most common ways these thieves attempt to gain personal information access.
1.) Dumpster Diving: The thief or thieves rummage through trash looking for bills or other paperwork with your personal information on it.
2.) Skimming: The thieves steal credit card and debit card numbers by using a special storage device when processing your card.
3.) Slamming: They pretend to be financial institutions and send spam or pop up messages to get a sucker like you to reveal your personal info online.
4.) Jamming: They divert your billing statements to another location by completing a change of address form.
5.) Old School Stealing: They steal wallets and purses, laptops, mail that includes bank and credit cards, pre-approved credit offers, checking account checks, and tax information. They also steal records from their employees or bribe employees that have access to these records.
I hope this information is useful and remember to be careful.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Article written by: OG DUDE

How to Prevent Your Identity From Being Stolen

Ever since those neophytes at the OG Dude HQ caved in to my salary demands they have asked me to continue writing more articles. They have told me I would have to earn my keep. The L.A. Lessons series has become a fan favorite, therefore, it will go uninterrupted.
The following lesson will be on how to avoid Identity Theft. When you bring up this subject, always remember the Three D’s: Deter, Detect and Defend. The OG Dude will explain these concepts to you and how to implement them into your daily life.
DETER: Identity theft is a serious crime. It occurs when your personal information is stolen and used without your knowledge to commit fraud or other crimes. Identity theft can cost you time and money. It can destroy your credit and ruin your name. You can deter identity theft by safeguarding your personal information.
A.) Shred financial documents and paperwork with personal info before you discard them.
B.) Protect your social security number. Do not carry your social security card in your wallet or write the number on checks. Give it out only if you absolutely necessary or ask to use another identifier.
C.) Do not give out personal info over the phone, through the mail or over the internet unless you know who you are dealing with. Also do not click on links sent in unsolicited emails, instead, type in a web address you know. Use firewalls, anti-spyware and anti-virus software to protect your home computer and keep them up to date.
D.) Never use an obvious password like your birthday, mother’s maiden name, your favorite hooker’s measurements, or the last four digits of your social security number.
E.) Keep personal info in a secure place at home, especially if you have roommates, ex-wives, employment side help or are having work done on your house.
DETECT: Suspicious activity can be routinely monitored by reviewing your financial accounts and billing statements. Be alert to signs that require immediate attention:
A.) Bills that do not arrive as expected.
B.) Unexpected credit cards or account statements.
C.) Denials of credit for no apparent reason.
D.) Calls or letters about purchases you did not make.
DEFEND: Place a “Fraud Alert” on your credit reports and review the reports carefully as soon as you suspect identity theft. The alert will tell creditors to follow certain procedures before they open a new account in your name or make changes to your existing accounts. Placing a fraud alert entitles you to free copies of your credit reports. Look for inquiries from companies you haven’t contacted, accounts you didn’t open and debts on your accounts that cannot be explained.
A.) Close accounts that have been tampered with or established fraudulently. Call the security or fraud department of each company where an account was opened or changed without your ok.
B.) File a police report. This can help you with creditors who may want proof of a crime. You can also report the theft to the Federal Trade Commission. They can be reached at 877-438-4338 or online at ftc.gov/idtheft.
After this information has set in you should not have a reason to encounter this type of crime.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
All L.A. Lessons Written by: OG DUDE.

Preventing Criminal Activity in El Lay

Let the OG Dude be your guide in helping you deter crime while in Los Angeles. If you do the following you will drastically decrease the theft of your car from occurring. You will also decrease the chances of thieves stealing from your vehicle.
The 3 Elements needed to commit a crime are desire, ability and opportunity. Buffoonery creates opportunity and ability. Act smart, be smart and eliminate the desire for a stranger to rob you or your property.
The following suggestions are brought to you for your reading pleasure. Remember these are part of your “Los Angeles Lessons“:
Step 1: Lock your car. An unlocked car is an open invitation to a car thief. Lock up whenever you leave your car. Do not forget to take your keys with you.
Step 2: Close all windows. Car thieves have tools that help unlock cars through a minimum of open space.
Step 3: Be sure Vent, Wind-Wing windows, and sunroofs are shut tight and locked. These are favorite means of entry for thieves.
Step 4: Do not leave items such as your wallet, purse, cell phone, or blackberry in your car. Take these items with you. Be aware that someone else may be watching as you hide them under your car seat.
Step 5: Buy an alarm system and use it. Many car owners believe that car alarms no longer make a difference however they do remain effective deterrent to burglars. As stated in the earlier lessons criminals will choose the easiest target. If they have two cars to choose from, the one without the alarm will be the choice.
Step 6: Park in well-lighted areas.
Step 7: Avoid alleys and check to see if your parking choice is visible to pedestrain and vehicular traffic. Criminals usually avoid heavy traffic areas.
Step 8: While at your hotel or home park in the garage and lock your car!

Another concept you will have to consider is that car burglary can lead to residental burglary. Garage door openers, house keys, mail and vehicule registrations left in your car can be used for both indentity theft and residental burglary. That concept will be will be covered in another “L.A. Lesson.”
Always remember, if you are driving a “rental“, remove the agencies bumper stickers. This is a dead giveaway that says “Steal Me.” Until the next lesson-“Stay Down!”
Another provocative article written by: OG DUDE.

OG REMIX: Local L.A. Customs

I will change it a bit for this lesson. I have been told by the Powers to be here at The Daily Gangsta that my lessons have made many tourists and visitors to doubt themselves of picking Los Angeles as their destination of choice. These articles were meant to give folks a taste of the real Los Angeles and not to cause disharmony.
There are other reasons and tribulations to love the City of Angels. After all we have beautiful people, beautiful beaches, wonderful mountains, swarming deserts, never ending entertainment venues, and no football team. As we experienced the other day, Los Angeles also has earthquakes, fires, floods, riots, traffic jams and plenty of jobs. A lot of these things do not get Angelenos very much perturbed. In fact, ask any native and they will tell you that the last earthquake was very mild to what they are accustomed to. The locals take everything in stride and unlike those arrogant Easterners, we do not move like we have consumed 8 cups of coffee. Another trait that is customary to “El Lay” is the avoidance of saying “Hello” to everybody you come across. If you do this you will be viewed as a strange individual. You just don’t come up to people and say “Hi, my name is Rothschild. What’s your name?” Folks here will think you are propositioning them and you will get yourself in a trick bag. You just don’t do that! Another issue that will get you knocked out is the constant staring at people. You can do this back in Jersey but here it is considered “mad dogging.” If you do this, just take a picture it will last longer and will get you cleared of being accused of being gay or just plain stupid. The locals are used to seeing all the “stars” so to them it is no big deal. In fact, this behavior is irritating and do not be surprised if they cuss you out or you get threatened.
Come to Los Angeles, stay quiet, enjoy the scenes and party. That is all you have to do. You will not get yourself in dire straits if you do these things.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Article, Advice and Opinions by L.A. Local: OG DUDE

Monthly Billing Statements

Yes, folks, there IS that time of the season when the bills start to arrive. When they do arrive, do not be surprised with sticker shock! Apparently, there are those people who ignored my article on holiday spending and did just that. You went out of your way just to get that shiny plastic card and started to charge everything for your holiday gift giving rampage. What you failed to acknowledge was that you will be eventually paying for all this. Those gifts you gave were probably nice, but guess who got stuck with the bill? Sure. It was great to buy all these things, but did you have too?! Now you will be paying the price for all your foolishness. You failed to stop at those low-end, affordable stores (99cents store, Wal-Mart, etc). Instead, you went to a fancy shmancy department store. Oh my, what idiocy!
You know that the folks who got the gifts are not responsible for the payment. YOU ARE! With that said, all you have to do now is cut back on using your card and pay with only cash. When you pay with the plastic, money is no object, but when you pay with cash, it is an object... A HUGE ONE! When you run out of cash, put a lid on it. Whatever you do, do NOT go back and use your credit card. I suggest you use scissors and cut it up. Rip the thing apart, anything, just make sure that it's broken enough for nobody to use.
With high interest rates and never-ending payments, why do you even use it? Let the credit card companies go bankrupt, not you.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down.